Plan for Iran: Letting the Iraqis and Syrians Die & Moving On

(Drum roll) I’m gonna go out on a leftist limb and suggest that we set priorities —since we can’t do everything, can we?— and chalk up the Syrians as Dead Meat...along with the Iraqis.

For I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that so many Iraqis are dying so quickly, so regularly...that we no longer need to bother with trying to save them; that the time and effort it’ll take to come up with a decent proposal/action is not worth the candle, so to speak. And that the Syrians simply don’t value life as much as others.

Better, she suggests, to devise a plan for preventing the pulverizing of the Persians, as a hedge against the Administration’s inroads into Iran, preparation for Pahlavi-like horror...from the air, for out-Savaking SAVAK.

I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that readers take part in a plan to threaten the Neocons and Company...that if they so much as harm a hair on a turban from the air with bombs’ red glare within Ayatollah Ali Khamenei-held territory, we will do something horrid to anyone/everyone associated with the U.S military across the country, particularly in Washington, D.C.

The number of souls in Iran being usually reckoned at 66 million there [*], of these I calculate there may be at least, perhaps as many as 24% Azerbaijanis among them, and all 8% of the Gilaki and Mazandarani fans of Majid Majidi movies to boot. A great deal worthy of saving there; carpets, caviar and cinema too! And if one is able to acknowledge that reasoning a man out of something that he didn’t reason himself into makes pleading (logically) with the Administration futile, I submit we would do well to threaten something horrid.

Couple the above with the abominable track record of politicians who are supposedly on the side of Compassion and their constituencies (but are not), and you’ve got a justified basis for proceeding with waving a fist with a warning at The Powers on the White House lawn...or a less vulnerable place, perhaps.

A very worthy person, a true lover of this country and Iran, and whose virtues I highly value, was lately pleased in discoursing on this matter to offer a refinement upon my scheme. His esteemed advice included...serving notice that horrid things would happen in and around the Capitol building and other public edifices.

He underscored that we would benefit by letting it be known that preference would be accorded people of color...in terms of trying to avoid doing harm to them, but that there was no guarantee that those associated with military this or that could escape our wrath...regardless of pigment.

Psalmanazar (who my acquaintance in London introduced me to this year), a native of the city of Tehran, and well-versed in such planning...recommends that I urge all readers to visit their local libraries’ computers/cafe computers...and —in the name of preserving anonymity for obvious reasons— register a new email address (without, of course, giving out real personal info)...for the purpose of letting me know ASAP if they plan to take part in this plan.

Then, Psalmanazar suggests, I will have a basis for going to Washington, DC at the first sign of U.S. air attacks on Iran. All interested parties, as the plan would have it, could descend upon the capital at such a point. With solidarity unseen to date.

Unseemly horror inflicted on The Guilty. The Front Line Guilty. Then...their Supporters.

I can think of no one among The Left —increasingly frustrated with the results of marching in circles and holding candlelight vigils— that will possibly raise objections against this modest proposal.

(Drum stick roll with seeds) Can you?