Education Education Education

Tony Blair, when asked what the priorities for the new labour government would be famously said “education education education.”

In the spirit of Paulo Coelho’s ‘Thank You George Bush’ [1] I would like to thank Tony for the education he has provided us.

There were three repetitions of ‘education’. So here we go, here are three things he has re-educated us all about…

Education 1 – Scotland…

Labour or Conservative will continue to use Scotland as a nuclear dumping ground and as a place extraordinary rendition flights can go through.

Labour will regard Scottish public opinion as naught compared to that in England.

He has educated us so much that now people are seriously beginning to question the lie we have always been told that we are subsidised by England [2]. The public are now beginning to realise that the reverse is the case and that Scotland pays more to the treasury per capita than any other region of the UK. Despite this of course there are more social problems and poverty in Scotland than there are in other parts of the UK.

Thanks to Tony for letting us see that the devolution he supported for Scotland (NB – only because his predecessor and others had committed him to it, Blair wasn’t too happy about it) is woefully inadequate. With the poodle’s poodle Jack McConnell in power in Scotland people were quickly educated enough to realise that he would do anything Tony told him and therefore for the first time in half a century voted Labour out in Scotland.

Thanks for educating us to the point where we voted for an Independence party.

Education 2 - The UK as a whole…

Thanks for educating people (again) that there are no major differences in how Labour and Conservative governments behave (at least not since the end of WW2).

Thanks for re-educating the people that governments lie all the time.

Thanks for Geoff Hoon – seriously, the amount of belly laughs that man gave me [3].

Thanks for whipping up fear and racial tension to the point where the British people are so educated that the bigoted thug British National Party are experiencing a surge in popularity [4] and are allowed on mainstream broadcasting stations.

Thanks for making the rest of the world hate us in a more vitriolic way than any time since the days of the British empire.

Education 3 – The world…

Thanks for letting the people of the world know that not only the people of the disunited kingdom but its government as well has no free will and will do whatever the United States demands of it – no matter how much public opposition.

Thanks for teaching everyone that despite you prancing around with Bob Geldof you have no intention of ever helping those in the poorest nations if it ever involves giving up any kind of competitive advantage.

Thanks for educating the people of Iraq that those cluster bombs are coming from a man who really believes he is trying to help them.

Thanks for the education Tony.

I hope this is my last new labour exam. I just don’t think I can take too much more of this sort of education.

Here are three things I hope we can educate you about Tony, I am not sure if they will come to fruition.

1. I hope we can educate you that war crimes cannot be passed over by a few speeches, some PR and a bit of hand-wringing.

2. I hope we can educate you that no matter what hand gestures you use to fake sincerity or how hurt you pretend to be when someone questions your motives, we won’t forget that you are a pathological liar.

3. I hope we can teach you that what you have done to this country and others is completely unacceptable.