Why Can’t We Have Some Real Sex?

“Alcoholism

is a disease, but it’s the only one you can get yelled at for having.

Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have

Lupus...one of those two doesn’t sound right.” So said my favorite

comedian...just before he succumbed to his (drug-based) disease.

So, in that light, how does “Hey, you’ve got no compassion, Goddamn

it, George!” sound?

How ’bout “Goddamnit, Dick, stop being so greedy!”?

One could easily come up with a penis-based one for Clinton, and a

“lying through your rabbit teeth’ bit for Carter, no doubt.

The out-of-control diseases which are infecting one and all all

around us cannot be controlled by yelling out the obvious truth. The

only way to go about disinfecting the planet, stopping our ecocidal

momentum, reducing social injustice, etc. is to quietly remove the

addicts from the playing field.

Drown them perhaps via abnormal channels [1]. Something like that.

Seriously.

But what’s happening now -what’s been happening for too long- is

that our supposed best and brightest have been doing their version of

attending an AA meeting, standing up and declaring that someone

else is addicted.

And my readers have been yelling out their compatriots’ names in

praise, remaining securely situated in their seats, fixed in their

addictions...reading/memorizing/exchanging their talk. Part of

their perfect program for being stepped on twelve times a day. Their

Twelve-Step Program to Hell.

“Goddamnit, Lefty, why do you keep on maturbating? Why can’t we have

some real sex?”

Richard Oxman, rmoxman@yahoo.com, is involved with words which have

Mitch Hedberg is the favorite comedian.